(1944-02-04) If that's what you want
If that's what you want
Summary: Clif and Jesse talk about living arrangements and Jesse is left with a choice.
Date: 1944-02-04
Related: None
Players:
clifton..jesse..

Good thing Clifton didn't have a shift at the feed store today, with it being a bit cooler still and drizzling today on top of it. Still, he needed something to keep his mind busy…and also help out around the house…so he was doing odd and end jobs to clean. He had already swept earlier. Now, he was doing some of the dishes that had accumulated. As he works, he hums lightly to himself…no song specifically, just a random melody.

Cool and drizzling weather means no busking and not a lot of construction work. Apparently Katherine is putting things on hold for a little, which means Jesse is also sort of stuck back at the homestead. He's offered to help Clyde with their new shack, but most of the time he's out in the barn. He's cleaned out Pancake's stall and has washed up some outside before peeking in to see if there's anything else he can help with. "Oh…Hey, Clifton. I wasn't sure who was bangin' around in here."

Clifton glances over from the sink, but keeps at the task of washing. "Hey, Jesse. Yeah I'm just doing some dishes. Was upset about the feed store not using me today but…the weather made me grateful now." A small chuckle from the Beta. "What have you been up to?"

Jesse comes inside so that he can close the door to the cold, but mostly stays in the doorway. "Guess not many folks are shoppin' on a day like this, huh?" is asked even as he just sort of crosses his arms and shrugs. "Mucked out Pancake's stall…fixed up the barn some more. Maybe I can ask Clyde for another blanket since I'll be stayin' out there again."

"Thanks, I know Pancake appreciates it." Clifton lofts a brow at the last bit though "Why are you going out there? We have plenty of space in here." Even with the newest arrival Kaydin, there were still plenty of spots for all of them. "I mean unless you prefer it out there, then obviously that's fine. Snag another blanket either way, Clyde won't mind."

"With Kaydin and Cherry and Ethel and You in here…Unless Cherry and Ethel are gonna share the big room, then there really ain't enough room for all of us," Jesse points out. "I know my place and it's fine. Pancake likes me so he don't bother me much." At least it's not as smelly as it is in the summer.

Clifton shakes his head "Don't worry we'll make it work. You aren't sleeping in the barn, Jesse." If nothing else as Beta he would take on that task himself before letting anybody else in the pack do so…especially the one of them with the heightened sense of smell! Good grief! "Remember what I've told you before? Talk to us. We can't sort things out if we don't know what you're thinking." Finishing the last of the dishes he dries it with a towel and sets it with the others.

Jesse's hands move from being crossed at his chest to being shoved in the pockets of his well-worn coat. "Ain't nothin' really to talk about. I don't like that Cherry thinks she's gonna give everythin' up and work at a salon here. I don't like that Kaydin seems to want us to feel all sorry for him even though he was able to go to college and become a doctor. Bein' in the barn means I don't have to hear it as much."

"Well…" Clifton tenses, pausing and thinking a moment. "Not really sure what to tell you there, Jesse." He frowns "Except I think that's kind of low of you." The Beta looks to his pack member. "You may not like Cherry's decisions, but they are hers to make. It's her life. As for Kaydin…just because he had opportunities we didn't doesn't mean he hasn't had his own share of hardships too. Just like there are plenty of people who have had it worse than us…doesn't mean we don't have a right to our own grief too." Clifton sighs, "If that's ultimately the reason you want to go out to the barn though then it might be best."

"You asked what I was thinkin'. Guess it's why I don't share it too often." There's a dip of his head as if to ackowledge that it's not the most generous thoughts. But it's one reason why Jesse's been keeping to himself. "I know complainin' about it won't change things and I know that everyone's made choices. It's better if I just keep my mouth shut than express my thoughts on it, I know."

Clifton chuckles, shaking his head "Jesse I said I wanted to know what you were thinking and I meant it. Doesn't mean I'm not gonna share what I'm thinking right back though. If you can't be honest with your own family and can't let your own family be honest with you then what's the point of even being family? Disagreeing doesn't mean we don't still care about each other. Neither does calling each other out on things."

The Beta shrugs "In the end we all have a lot on our own plates. We also have a lot that we face together. We aren't always gonna agree and it isn't always gonna be easy, but if your approach to when things don't go the way you want or expect is to shut down or close off then I can't do anything for you and neither can anybody else." Clifton sighs "I'm trying to just keep open communication with you, Jesse. As far as the barn goes…you know that you're welcome in this house. Always. If you prefer living out there though…for whatever reason…I won't question it again and I won't stop you so just do whichever you want."

Jesse is still, listening to Clifton's words and taking in the inflection without seeing facial expressions or body language as best as he can. Finally, he offers, "I'd rather know what other folks are thinkin' too and I don't care if no one agrees with me as long as I don't get throated for thinkin' the way I do." As far as staying in the barn goes, "I don't really prefer it…" but there's a bit unspoken still. "I'm sorry. I won't be complainin' no more."

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