| To The Wolf, With Love |
| Summary: | Grab your popcorn, kids. This is gonna be a bumpy, and surprising, ride. |
| Date: | 1942-09-26 |
| Related: | There will be. Pending. |
| Players: |
 .. .. |
Main and Pine,
Tue Sep 26, 1942
The further one goes north up Main Street, the less residential it becomes and more commercial. Each side of the street is lined with a long row of various types of businesses, a bakery, small bookstore, hardware store and a few offices as well. A few cars or trucks are parked diagnally in front of various places. It is quite common to see townsfolk walking around from place to place or a few of them standing outside a business chatting.
Weather:
It is fall. The weather is warm and drizzling.
<FS3> Lillie rolls Empath: Good Success.
It's been a very productive morning for Lillie: it was full of Tilda and the girl had to dress the part. Yes, the moneyed old girl likes a little something pretty to look at in her companions; there will be no clinging upon the arm of a frumpy girl, in Tilda's world! Lillie has to dress nice in her company but it's worth it. Fast-forward through hours of helping the old girl in and out of the DRIVER'S SEAT of her boat of a car. (Yes, Tilda is still driving. There's a reason Lillie looks pale sometimes.)
Fast-forward through errands run with the old girl, to getting her home and settled, to collecting pay for the day. As the skies began to get hazy with impending drizzle, Lillie moved quickly.
A shop a little ways down from the Rose Salon boutique had seen the Empath's patronage just recently, and it is from this hole in the wall that the young woman walks, presently. She is carrying parcels: a wrapped package about the size of a thick catalogue, a bag of groceries, a small hatbox. Damnit she really needs to consider driving. As the rain begins to fall in earnest, Lillie tucks herself beneath an awning and observes two women as they converse beside a diagonally parked car. She's not one to snoop, but she heard the word 'Walker' pass between their lips, and immediately her wariness is stoked. The birds haven't spotted her yet but damnit, Lillie has spotted them. :E
Clyde's been purposefully busy. He thinks better when doing things, and the man has a lot to think on. Currently he's walking in the direction of town square. His flannel is off (one never knows with the weather anymore) and wrapped around his waist. He's getting wet though, no chance in not if he doesn't want to spend the next hour huddled in some store he can't afford. The rain makes his curls more pronounced somehow, they aren't quite long enough to ringlet, but close. He hears them talking, but doesn't acknowledge it as he walks by. He's wet, and Walkers are always talked about.
Are the two women aware of Clyde's approach? He is a surly, silent figure who passes them by. Ugh. Just when one of them, a prissy lass by the name of Gladys with a hoser of a nose, lapses into a tangent.. Lillie can't quite take it anymore.. her sense whispers of Clyde's arrival but she is seeing some red. "Oh, but you should've seen it, sugar. Ike may be a lummox but he didn't mean ill… then that mountain brute started strong-arming him into buying drinks—-" Gladys rambles on.
The woman's holier-than-thou manner feels as sickening to Lillie as it sounds, and the Empath breaks away from her little impromptu shelter and becomes a gossip-seeking-missile. Her tone is sweet, much as it had been that day in the Farm and Fleet when she ordered cow shit. "Gladys, I was there too. Don't you be skewing the facts now. Ike was the problem, and Mister Walker didn't even have to lift a finger. Had you a bit too much to drink that night, to be imagining such things?" Lillie counters, looking and sounding sweet but there's a bite there. She is about to gracefully retract her sword when the two women awkwardly glance back to Clyde as he walks along.
"There's one of them—"
Say no more. Lillie would probably throw a punch if they slander Clyde. One more fierce glare, and she is off and along in the Alpha's wake. "You're soaked through." She calls out to him worriedly, caring little for the harpies in their wake.
Clyde may have been ignoring the gossips, it's much harder to ignore Lillie engaging the gossips though. He turns, taking a deep breath. To say something or not. Seems a cooler head than Lillie's wins and he keeps walking. But then she joins him. Is he really going to have to explain who this isn't healthy for her reputation again? She may not care, but he does. "Just water, Lillie. It ain't even cold out." Although he eyes all her packages, "Yer gonna soak yer parcels."
Sorry Clyde, she's smart as a whip in many respects but stubborn too. "I can surmise a great many things but I cannot predict mother nature's whims. That which I have here shall be alright…" Green eyes take in the Alpha's appearance.. how and why does she always encounter him in the rain? Does she feel that jolt of frustration at her engaging him in front of the chirping birds? Sure; but they're already beneath and beyond her regard. Lillie tilts her head some then glances over a shoulder, her profile smooth and graceful with that pile of hair cinched into a braid. She watches the two women, chided by the weather and her interjection, getting into their car. "I am not worried about them. I've been at odds with that harpy since I started at Sister's. I couldn't just let them dump all over Clifton." She says softly, looking briefly shy, like a kid being caught doing something naughty.
She clears her throat then, looks sideward to Clyde. Obviously she wants to touch him, her arm twitches; she will simply keep in step with him, as she knows that is what he thinks is best. "Josie's is up ahead, she's been away for the week… Tilda has been thrilled. Would you like to wait this out on her porch with me? I.. actually have something for you here." She adds, blushing, looking up from beneath her lashes. "Only in I'm not keeping you from your work."
"Ya might not be worried, but it ain't just bout you, Lillie." He sighs, lifting a hand to rub his tired face. Those harpies shop at Woolworths, where Ethel works. "Clifton's a big boy, he can take care of himself." The throat noise has the alpha look down at her, the slightest head shake to the twitching arm. No, not here. He tries to remember if it's a front porch or back porch at Josie's. So many reputations to keep clean. "I'm done fer the day." Slow day, not good for the wallet, but he was headed somewhere. The direction he was moving wasn't towards the mountain.
The woman listens carefully, and has the sense to look apologetic. "Sometimes I get a head of steam," She says softly, the man's tired rubbing of his face getting to her more than any words could. Her gaze flits toward the sidewalk as they go, as she considers her words. "I can be a regular boar myself, Clyde, when faced with… that. I'll try to watch myself from hereon.. it's the Irish in me, I guess." Lillie takes a deep breath though her nose, exhales with a little puff from her mouth. It's a very good point.. to inflame the harpies and have them shop at Woolworths.. Lillie looks positively stricken for all of a few seconds, then resolved.
"Was work slow? Am I keeping you from anything?" Lillie asks gently, worriedly; she can see the intersection of Pine upcoming, and she intends to head there regardless of Clyde's trajectory. She hugs the parcel close to her chest, hoping he will yet accept.. he looks so tired. Could what she found actually help him?
Clyde snorts, "Ya ain't nearly big enough ta be a boar. You'd need ta triple at least." For a baby pig! But he adds, "That ain't nothin', Lillie, really." Wet curls fling droplets as he shakes his head no, "No. I'm done fer the day." His top lip is chewed on briefly, "I can walk ya to the porch.' that shouldn't cause too much drama, right? The parcel is eyed, "Ya know ya don't gotta get me nothing, right?"
"There's a place to sit around back.. at the back door. Nothing big, but I've been working on it the summer past. It is hard to get a garden to take at Josie's house." Lillie says simply, brow furrowed. She watches the Alpha gnaw away at his lip and she looks back toward the all-too-familiar intersection. How many times had she taken this walk? Lillie glances sideward at one of the houses from which someone observed, one other night — many moons ago — when Clyde walked her 'home'. She hugs the parcels close, braid swaying between her shoulders and behind her as she moves. The boar remark nonetheless loosens a chuckle from her throat and Lillie smiles genuinely. "I should take that as a compliment. I should like to think I cannot compare with a boar in size, lest I be doing something truly wrong."
Her accent is heavy and lyrical in her mirth, but there's still worry etched into her fair features. They take the turn onto Pine. and Lillie looks up at Clyde thoughtfully. "I know, but I wanted to. The weather is turning, Clyde, and I want you to be comfortable. I.." She looks down at her things, listening to a car lumber past. "I know I don't have to.. and I know you've experienced many a fall and winter here.. but it felt right.." Lillie admits shyly, brow furrowed.
That soft chuckle gets a loosening of his own frown. "I don't know…they're pretty good eats." the boars, that is. He should get the clan and go hunting for more on the sooner end. He seems to be alright following her for now. His head tilts, not following what she could have possibly gotten him. "Okay?" Is it another scarf? He liked the scarf he had from her, but the bit of cloth that's left of it is frayed and small and almost always shoved in the pocket of his jeans now.
SHH. Stop thinking about what she got you, Clyde. It's a surprise and it's practical. Does Lillie think and/or wonder about that square of fabric that remained of the previous scarf she had given him? Perhaps.. not so much the square but what it meant when she discovered he had it. That really threw her for a loop back then. The young woman in the fitted, thin coat and armful of goods walks along a route that is forever etched into memory. Were she to close her eyes and try to make her way here as Jesse would've done, perhaps she could stand a chance in finding the house! So attuned is she to Josie's homestead.
… but knowing Lillie she'd stumble off into the street and get plugged by a Chevrolet. Anyway.
The minimal Tudor that Lillie called home for six months greets the duo, surrounded by a pretty fence and set back from the street, It's everything one would expect of an old spinster: meticulous, clean, pretty. Lillie pulls open the dollhouse gate and gestures to a path around the house. "Back here, sit out of the rain. I'll get you something hot to drink." Lillie offers tenderly, still ruminating the cause and effect that her experience with the harpies could have had and feeling bothered. This too shall pass. She did not lie: there is a smaller step leading up to a back door, beneath a wooden lean-to.. two chairs are placed upon this porch, they look almost conspiratorial.
Clyde's eyes narrow slightly, suddenly his sitting on the porch is including presents and drinks? This feels like a set up. He walks though, maybe he can shake his head a little dry while she's making coffee or tea or whatever she means by hot drink.
She's also become versed in translating Clyde'ese. Lillie listens to him mount the stairs to seat himself, and she peers over a shoulder as she unlocks the back door with a set of keys that Josie threatened her with death over, if she didn't keep them. She sees those narrowing eyes, mister.. she knows that look. Just you see. It's ALMOST like the look he gave her back on the day of the pie. Should the Alpha sit, Lillie will watch him still, the door open and the warm fragrant breath of a beautifully-maintained homestead passing out onto the porch. Lillie has that way about her, anywhere she goes.
"I'm doing this because I want to, Clyde. I did not know when I would see you again, after last time," Blush. "I want you to have these things, just in case.." Wait, things?! Lillie colors prettily, and lets herself in. "You're welcome to come in, but I didn't know how comfortable you would feel here. It's very fussy in here."
Strong smells.. not unpleasant… but… 'busy'. Busy rooms, filled with antiques; with nearly 50 years' worth of an elderly woman's life.
Things? Plural? His hands run-through his hair, trying to get any of the rain out. Not that he's cold, the weather is still warm, thankfully. He just grunts, staying on the porch. Although it does cross his mind to go kiss her in the kitchen, just to say he did in one of the old ladies houses. But he behaves himself.
It's wise that the man elected not to go after her in Josephine Ellis's pristine little kitchen. Seriously. The old woman would know. Clyde shall be left to his own devices for a time, long enough for Lillie to shed the raincoat and put away some of the groceries she had to pick up for Josie. Thank Christ she didn't drop a parcel and the bottle of castor oil within wasn't revealed. Sensitive werewolf ears may hear the Empath's industry in the kitchen that she knows well and truly. In time she will return to him, bearing the spoils from an antiquated French press filled with potent black coffee. The large steaming mug is set down before the Alpha, done up in the way (with or without fixings) that Lillie remembers seeing him taking coffee in the past.
Sadly, she cannot do a thing about her Tilda finery. A fitted black pencil skirt and flowing, frothy ivory blouse provides a stark contrast to the woman's sweet and approachable expression. She sets down, too, a plate of shortbread cookies. Because that's Important with coffee. Big green eyes rivet to Clyde's face then, and she says again with insistence in her voice.
"Wait right here."
Clyde does as instructed, although he does reach for a cookie and takes the coffee into hand. He had a small lunch, and his stomach is happy for anything to fill it. After taking a sip of coffee, his head tilts and he looks down, able to taste it's difference from any other coffee he's had. Is this fancy coffee? Huh. He'll have to tell Ethel about it. Fancy coffee, who knew.
It's fancy coffee.. cat's ass coffee. Ew, NO; not literally… it's the stuff Lillie is sent to buy for Josie for her bi-weekly bridge meets. It's the black gold that seeps through many pairs of dentures and often, it's chased with brandy. Lillie isn't about to tuck into Josie's private stock, though, or her ass will be grass. But the coffee alone is marvelous, and it tastes expensive. Not like ashtray water! Yes, fancy coffee… to Lillie, Clyde is worth it.
Before long she re-emerges, holding the catalogue-sized parcel beneath a lithe arm and something else in her hands. It's of a gray coloration, neutral and not-at-all loud. A new woolen knit cap, much like what he owned when they first met.. Lillie kneels before him as he slurps down coffee and looks into his eyes thoughtfully. "I saw this while out, and remembered this style… I should like to see you with something to keep your head warm in the season ahead.. or at least something to use alongside that which you had when we.. first met, y-you see."
Blush. "I hope it was not too forward of me. It did not set me back in the least, I promise you." But.. things.. what else does she have?!
Clyde's face smoothes, looking at the hat. The color is right for him, neutral, nothing attention seeking. He wipes his hand on his wet jeans, a few stray cookie crumbs now cling to the material before he reaches for the hat, "Lillie…I don't get ya nothin'…." Strong fingers take the hat and it's easy to see it's struck a cord with the Alpha.
She can't help it.. Lillie's lips twitch and she is trying her hardest not to grin like a fool. It's not a look that people see often, when her apprehension fades and relief sets in.. that smile. But it's there; what was she worried about? Lashes flutter and she looks to the crumbs on Clyde's jeans, and she can't help but feel a great rush of affection. It infuses her face redly and she rubs the back of her neck, "You don't have to. J-just keep safe… that's all I ask. Knowing I can at least give you something to keep you warm in the winter ahead," Lillie looks up into his eyes, watching as Clyde looks the hat over. "That is more than enough."
A pause then. "But there's… something else. Don't you be scowling at me either." She jests gently, pushing to stand and moving toward the opposite chair to pick up the second parcel. She stands, looking at it for a few seconds, before glancing over a shoulder at Clyde. "Close your eyes now."
Clyde's got the hat halfway to his head when she tells him to close his eyes and not frown. Which of course makes him frown. He doesn't really like surprises. The hat goes down to rest in his lap, but he'll close his eyes, but is clearly not excited to be doing so.
So standoffish! What was he like when he was a kid, when facing surprises? Suddenly Lillie is all-too-aware of how little she knows of Clyde. Is it her place to ask? Damnit, it is and she WILL. But not yet; not yet. Paper can be heard crinkling as she considers. Indeed, it's a scarf; a complimentary color to the cap, hardy and thick and not some gauzy, flimsy thing. Lillie shall be heard leaning toward him again, perhaps smelled too: she is back into that faint lilac perfume again. "I've wanted to do this for so long." Finally spoken; she has waited a long, long time.
Perhaps expectedly, the heaviness of the scarf shall be set down across the back of Clyde's neck and across his broad shoulders, and carefully Lillie pulls the ends in to protect his neck; that powerfully vulnerable part of a werewolf. Lillie ties it off carefully, touches his face tenderly, and presses a kiss to his lips. "Don't be snaring rabbits with this." She whispers over the smell of coffee.
Could now be the time to ask more, about this man's past? His reactions to being surprised intrigue and worry her… what would he disclose?
Feeling the cloth around his neck the Alpha gives a small intake of breath. His dark eyes open and lock onto hers. Although they flutter closed at the kiss. He desperately wants to wrap his arms around her, but he restrains himself. There is a touch of pushback at the kiss though, making it last a movement longer as he leans into her. "…I didn't." Snare rabbits. He lied. She wrestles with her questions for him while he does the same. Dare he ask her, here?
Yeah, she's always wanted to do that. Even back then, when she was 'confused', she was ready to wrap that ill-fated scarf around his shoulders and send him on his way. She couldn't. But at least here, in Josie's pretty little fenced-in back yard (there's not much of it, actually) she can do that and more. She could, she could… but it's so often to dissolve into the genuine need and love where words are lost and questions, such as those buzzing around in Lillie's head, are forgotten. Now is as good a time as ever, to remark on the fate of the last scarf.
Lillie leans back reluctantly, and simply kneels before the Alpha.. she will not fault him removing the heavy woolen thing, because it's warm.
There is something there that she is feeling; the sense quivers in the back of her mind. Clyde seems to be vacillating on something.. much as she does with her own innocent undertakings. Thoughts of his birthday, his favorite activities as a child before explosions and duty, of his favorite things, of whatever else she could grasp like a jewel to worry over, to somehow make happen. Lillie may shoot her mouth off at people a bit too readily, but she is all heart.
"The previous scarf.. you kept it to stay close to me, didn't you? Even just that piece of it?" Lillie asks gently.
Clyde doesn't take it off just yet, instead he just tilts his head, watching her back. A deep breath, the alpha raises a hand to trace the outline of Lillie's face, "Ya weren't mine. It's all I could have…" He tried so hard to not encroach on her and Jesse.
"I didn't know whose I was. I found my way here," She rests a hand upon his knee. "Here.. I am not proud of how I did it, but I do not regret it." Lillie admits, watching the Alpha's eyes. "You tried so hard and you were so respectful. It couldn't have been easy." She acknowledges Clyde's struggle wholly, her voice a lilting thing. She leans into his touch then as she is so apt to do, savoring it. A few seconds and raindrops pass before the Empath continues, her sense swirling unseen around them both. The breeze careens through, carrying with it the scent of roses on their way 'out', so-to-speak.
"When I spoke to you in my yard, awhile back; spoke with my usual level of tact…" Lillie smiles sweetly, "In other words, no tact… when I thought I lost you for good, it crushed me. So here, now, I am trying my best to ensure that it.. d-doesn't happen again. For there is so much more of you that I wish to know." She admits, blushing again. "I don't even know of your birthday or.. things of that importance. I have so many questions but I did not want to chafe you."
Guilt races through him briefly, he's still upset about Jesse, even if Jesse says it's done and over with. That frown comes back naturally, "I…I tried." He tried so hard. He's unaware of any sense she has, just her, kneeling and looking so pretty. How can he ask her what will surely be a terrible , terrible question. he's a bastard for even thinking it. He focuses on her words, maybe he can make this work yet. "I were born in the spring." That's it. No date, just the season. Maybe he doesn't know? Like the coward he is, he waits, not asking his own question.
There is something… tremulous there. Even when she gets the admittance, left to her own devices in figuring out what spring means here — the precise date — .. Lillie feels it. IT's like an unwelcome and unannounced visitor to a dinner party, looking for ribs when the menu is turkey. What is wrong here? Curse this sense. Between that and what she sees playing across the Alpha's handsome face, Lillie feels her heart beginning to throb despite itself. She will store this nugget of knowledge away for a moment, for how diligently do the hillfolk track the calendar year…? Are they truly that simple in their ways..? Spring… spring…
Lillie watches his face, searches his eyes… my, how she can just look at a person. Her appearance is fey; could she have some sort of fey level of divination? What the hell is it? Because in those seconds, Lillie looks up at Clyde so imploringly, so worriedly… and asks despite herself.
"Are you okay? Is something troubling you?"
His free hand, the one not on her face, tightens around the fabric of his new hat. Will she take it away? Will she scream at him? Both are reasonable. He's such a bastard. The man's chest expands as he takes a very deep breath, "I…got something ta ask ya. It's….terrible, but….it could…" It's only good for him! he wets his lips, hand cupping her cheek, "I… I talked with Dot. I'm pretty sure Ethel's gonna match us…" He then rushes on before she can say anything, "She knows bout us. She…she thinks she'd be ok, if we were.. discreet. As long as I came home ta her. As long as I gave her children…" He swallows, knowing this is terrible of him to even ask.
Blink. Clyde was wise to rush on, but Lillie finds herself positively bowled over. Came home to.. gave her…
"She…" Ba-dump. Her heart throbs.. what is that sound in her head? Surely that's what it is. Lillie blinks again, smelling coffee, the scent of the roses, rain. "Y-your cousin.. isn't she your cousin…" Dot.
Dot, Dot.
Home to her..? To look into Lillie's eyes is to see something powerful.. powerfully confused, and hurt. Her kneeling stance wavers some and she crumples into straight-up sitting down upon the step, her head tilting downwards, braid hanging over a shoulder. Her face crumples.. give her a moment, she's processing!
"She's like a 5th cousin." They're smart about it, no one too close ever gets matched. That look though, Clyde silently curses himself. So selfish! A tremble runs through his arm, to his hand. He doesn't know if he should keep touching her face, or pull away. or leave, stay? Fall down with her, "….Lillie…." He should have just shut his trap!
"W-what family… dictates… whom you settle with?" Lillie whispers, thoughts of coffee and innocent questions dissipating as she sits there, looking so defeated and scared. Her eyes are somehow more emotive, looking up finally and finding it so hard. She does not move away from him, but she remains seated as if her legs aren't quite cooperating yet. "B-but.. Clyde…"
Lillie trembles then, she's still shocked. "Were you to give this woman children… it is only natural to love t-the mother of your.." She can't complete it, she presses her palms to her face and breathes deep, desperately. "I wouldn't.. you wouldn't.. I don't deserve that. She doesn't. You don't—-"
Lillie looks stricken, and finally the tears flow. "Why can you not stand up for what you want?! Why do you think someone else must decide for you?" She cries out then, finding her fire.. but so so hurt. "Do you not deserve to choose what you want? What sister feels as if she has the G'damned right to do this? W-what are.. what.."
She crumples again, face in her hands. A watery sniffle. "You know how I feel about you.. why can't it be what you need?"
Clyde would have broken , long ago, if it wash' for his pack mentality. and unfortunately, that's going to work against Lillie in this situation. "My family is different, Lillie. Always has been…" She // knows// this! His chest aches, he loves Lillie, so very much, but that animal instinct is strong in him. Stronger than it was before he was Alpha. Every half completed thought stabs at his heart. He // knows// all of this, he does. "I know ya don't. I…I understand." And he does. She deserves someone who can tell her everything, give her children, spend every moment with her, not worried about his pack. "It ain't bout what I want. I can't change what is." She finds her fire, and he pulls his hand back. Burnt? or something else? A flash of protectiveness, not directed at her, "Don't." She can be mad all she wants at him, not Ethel.
"I…I'm sorry." He is. He so very much is. This was so very stupid of him, from the very beginning, stupid. His feelings are too big to wrangle into his stomach just yet, but that effort is already started. The alpha stands up slowly, the hat in his lap tumbling to the ground next to Lillie.
<FS3> Lillie rolls Empath: Great Success.
She remains seated, trembling… her fire flickers, dances, trembles in her chest. "I cannot be discreet." She says in a small voice then, "I love you, and I would shout it to the world.. reputation be damned. A-and this woman.. to bear your child.. would love you too. I cannot share—" She trembles then, she can't get up. She does not reach for the hat, she can't look at it. The tears begin to flow in earnest and she shakes again. She is angry, but it is a deep, burning flicker.
She can feel the guilt, the regret… she places her hands upon the seat he occupied, her body shaking. The guilt is cloying.. her color is fading. This guilt does not make her feel better, but she will lay one smouldering glance upon Clyde if he should look at her. "I could give you love. Acceptance. Support." She starts in a sad little voice, her color flushing to her face. The sense howls, howls. It's strengthening in her upset, her eyes seem to almost glow with it. "I know that there is something about you. About you all. That you're not human." A whisper, the tears glitter. This hurts so bad, what can she do and where can she place it?
"Anyone with a heart or soul, REGARDLESS of who and what they are.. can CHANGE what is!" Lillie cries out, finding some strength.. but it is agonizing. The look in her eyes is that of pure hurt, love, and fear. Her pulse pounds in her neck, a part of her that poor Clyde knows so well. She is enraged and so in love and she doesn't know what to do. Her slight body stands now, shaking but strong. "I am ready to accept everything about you. EVERYTHING, CL—-" She sways, the sense is heavy and cruel. She falls into a chair.
Not human. That takes his breath away. Monster. He's a monster. He has to remember that. A small step backwards, distance will help. "I know ya do…" He doesn't say he does to, even though he does. He nods, "Alright…" She can't share, he can respect that, he kinda knew this was coming.
Her cry has his stiffen, he doesn't quiet growl back, but there's frustration of his own, "Some things can't be changed." This is all his fault, damn him. "Not everything, clearly! Ya said-" But then she sways, he steps closer but she's in the chair. He's starting to shake, anger, fear, pain, love, all mixed together. "I ain't no good fer ya." Obviously. "I Should have never let this start…." His hand twitches before reaching up for the scarf.
"I know what you're going to say." Lillie says softly, and she breathes deep. Prays, inwardly; she's not often a praying sort, not to the God of most peoples' understanding.. but she'll even give Him a shout. She seems faint, but she's holding on.. the sense is literally ramming all of these feelings down her throat and it is Clyde's love, amidst it all, that keeps her from just dropping away and giving up. A very tense few seconds pass as she breathes herself through it.. grasps desperately for purchase in the slippery slope of her strange Psychic mind.
She watches him reaching for the scarf and her heart lurches, her eyes glisten. "That I k-knew.. in the beginning.. what this would amount to. But I can't help it… for you always came back.. and I welcomed you. Why did you keep coming back." She whispers, trembling.. things go gray as her mind tries to pull the breaker switch, she holds tight. "Why did you let it start… h-how can I share, knowing you will give that woman what I want of you. You." She whispers, squeezes her eyes shut. Tries to push herself up to stand.
"I determine what is not good for me.. I made the decision a-a long time ago to give myself to you.. I could have said no.. so tell me. What 'this' is…" Or was, will it just be a 'was'…? Lillie tries to pin him with her gaze. "Was I a weakness? A mistake? A regret? IF you could go back and leave rather than stay.. would you?" Lillie asks tremulously.. it hurts to ask, to perpetuate this.. but she loves him dearly. Despite it all.
THe sense, even, seems to hold it's breath.
She did know. So did he. Her questions stab him, and he closes those eyes, hand still wrapped around the soft warm scarf. "I…came back because I'm weak." So, so weak. "You should have said no." His eyes open , he's finally getting some of those feeling crushed down, enough to gasp a few times, that almost animalistic nervousness is back. "You weren't ever a mistake." But now? He's being pulled in different directions, and he'll tear apart. His jaw works itself before he just silently shakes his head, no. He'd not leave her, ever. He'd always grasp at this straw, this chance. But he knows, that heaviness lays upon him is acceptance.
Here sits Lillie, in her storm of fear, pain, guilt, desperation and.. sheer love. She can feel his answer and see it… and as she sits there, feeling terrible for herself and for him and for the whole circumstance… something glimmers in the back of her head.
Spoken in Irish Gaelic, her mother tongue, a familiar voice: 'Well aren't you just a damned hypocrite.'
Lillie stares outright at Clyde, her features pale but eyes large, dark and clear. She draws breath to speak, as the sense crushes down upon her.. feeding her everything… but sight says something to. She watches him, considers how hard it must be….
'I raised you to never be such a hypocrite.' That nagging, older, singsong voice. Lillie draws a deep breath, the love is too strong. Tears trickle down her features… how could she? She's doomed, she's in too deep… how could she say goodbye and risk seeing him in town even after? Fighting herself everytime, the pain… for if she sits here spouting that she would accept all of him, all that he is as this strange creature — yes, creature — that she cannot place… that she would shoot him down? It all hinges on one thing.
Through the storm of her sense, Lillie asks of Clyde one more favor… she looks and sounds surprisingly clear, though still sad and scared. "C-Clyde.. come here.. come here and look at me, and promise me one thing b-before I lose my nerve.." Before she is swallowed up again. She wasn't a mistake? What would it be if she were to banish him..?
God damnit she loves him too much. She watches him, seeing if he will concede to her request.
Clyde whines, the sounds so completely inhuman, but so very Clyde. His chest is going to crack open and his heart is going to just burst. It's the only way he can get any relief from this terrible, terrible hurt. He's shaking, a feeling like he might bolt any moment is there, but he concedes, stepping closer. His eyes are wet, but those tears aren't falling, not yet. The Alpha's knuckles though, white, as he clenches that scarf around him.
The hurt washes over her… this damned sense. Such a blessing and a curse. Lillie watches Clyde, hopes that he is listening… she can't quite believe that she is considering this. But she can. Lillie herself is not normal, and she never will be again.
Clyde's hurt threatens to engulf her and Lillie inhales deep; as deeply as she can. Could it really be so bad…? Could she ever truly give herself to another, after this..? She knows the answer before she could hope to say it; it's not even melodrama. She is in deep.
"Clyde." She holds his glittering gaze, feels that animal hurt and terror and sees it snapping back at her in his eyes. She touched that inner beast once.. she talks to the both of them with all of her strength. "Promise me of your love. Promise me to never go away, that I shall yet be in your mind even if you must… do a duty." She whispers, voice shaking. "I-if I am to accept this.. to try.. to share you. I can't bear to see you gone.."
Is he good for her? Yes. Is he bad for her? Sometimes. The good outweighs it all.. her intense gaze holds him. "Promise me of of your love, and if I have that… I can.. I can try this…"
It take the alpha a moment to understand what she's saying, he's fighting that flight instinct. Are his eyes a lighter color again? Is it just his tears playing a trick as the sun starts to lower in the sky? His breath catches and he's against her at an almost inhuman speed. Fingers in her hair and the werewolf has her pinned to the wall of the house, kissing her like their lives depended on it. In between kisses he gasps, "Love you." and then a "Yer mine…always."
Holy crap. Lillie did not expect that, but who could have expected the Empath to have pledged to be there in the face of something so.. unorthodox? So unlike anything and everything she dreamt of, when she was a girl and apart from this insane and wonderful little town? Lillie watches his expressions raptly, heart pounding, the sense making the edges of her vision blurry.. but she stays, stays with him. In more ways than one. She's only just spying the lightening of his eyes, the moisture, and her mouth opens to try again—-
And suddenly Clyde is against her, holding her, and at her mouth. She knows right then and there that she cannot retract her plea, does not want to.. couldn't if she tried. What is it about him?
Lillie's fingers knit shakily into the Alpha's hair and she returns the kiss, weakly at first but stronger as she finds herself. Her tears fall and her heart pounds, "I love you-" She whispers, unable to help sobbing. It's a rollercoaster and the sense doesn't quite know what to do with itself. "D-don't ever go.. d-do as you need to but never.. never make me an afterthought. You always find your way back to me." Lillie whispers fiercely, eyes streaming and lips seeking his ferociously as she is pinned. "Don't e-ever go—" Her plea comes out in a staccato of sobs, her tears hitting Clyde's cheeks.
Clyde keeps kissing her, it's needy, but not sexual. He doesn't have words, he never has words anymore. But he can show her. His head tilts trying to deepen the kiss, to show her. Strong fingers tighten in her hair, holding her. Finally he breaks the kiss to get a breath, but then he's kissing her chin, her jaw as he whispers back, "Love you…Yer always on my mind….Always come back…always…" He tries to kiss away her tears, despite them reappearing. "I'm sorry…"
How can she dispute this? Second guess it…? Lillie cannot because she won't; Clyde is saying all of the right things, the reassuring things with his actions. He breaks away briefly so the both of them may find breath, but they're embracing soon after upon the small back porch of Josephine Ellis's house. Lillie's lashes flutter closed as Clyde works her chin, her jaw.. moves up to kiss away the tears from her face. She has to try and somehow.. yes, she believes him.
Whatever he is… well.. Lillie is one step closer to understanding. Go figure.
Her hands lift to rest upon either side of his face and she holds his gaze for a time, hands sliding down to caress the sides of his neck. "I-I'm sorry.. or would have been if I said no.. I can't ever.. you're in my blood and in me.." She whispers, admitting every single scrap of her devotion to him. Her sense, still present, settles and swirls. Lillie clings hard, pressing her body firmly and insistently against Clyde's own. "Even in the act of.." She can't say it yet. Not yet. ".. your duty.. y-you think of me.." She whispers huskily, eyes flashing and wet and full of love.
Maybe then.. someday… he will consider..
IT's Lillie's turn to catch his lips with her own, desperately and fiercely.
Clyde's too emotionally tense to react to the pressing of their bodies in any way but emotional clinging. Again he repeats, "Yer mine…" he's claimed her as his. The wolf claims what it wants, the alpha gets what it wants. He wants Lillie, damn him. instead of answering, how can he answer that? He kisses her again, not knowing what she thinks he can reconsider. She can't understand. The kiss starts to turn more desperate, he holds her tighter, pressing against her and the house more.
Sometimes, too, words aren't needed. Lillie has said what she needed to say, and she will grapple and come to terms with it all later on, proper. 'Yer mine..' .. it echoes in her mind. She practically pulled those words out, into her own mouth, inhaled them into herself. She can feel the side of the house behind her body, and there isn't much between her own skin and Clyde's touch beyond the fitted, fancy trappings of what she wears when on the town with Tilda. She feels warm and alive, perhaps a bit sweaty from the emotional exertion prior.. how close she came.
As always, her grandmother helped her to see things clearly. The thoughts of her, what she would have said, still echoing in her head. Clyde has a batty Irish grandmother with the sense to thank, for Lillie getting her head out of her ass and practicing what she preaches.
Perhaps she does not understand fully, but she's trying. Lillie picks up on the desperation, the need for something beyond physical intimacy, and she pours ever bit of herself into her reciprocating embrace, her lips working his. "Take me into this house." She whispers into his ear, "Claim me here. Make this yours," She pleas, burying her face into his hair. "Make me yours again. Never stop reminding me." A plea, a pressing of herself against him, trying to get closer beyond the limits of physical touch.
As soon as she requests it, she can feel the Alpha's readiness. She is his, he'll prove it. Over and over. A low groan and he's pushing her inside. Poor Josie. Poor Josie's house. As they cross the threshold, his mouth crashes into hers again, but now it's demanding, lustful. She's his, he'll make her his. Part of him wants to keep her saying it, over and over, till it's a chorus in his ears, but she smells so good. She looks so pretty. Inside, there's no sunlight to blame the lightening of his eyes on.
In the end, when he brings the scarf home, all he can smell is her.