(1942-09-01) A Promise and a Plea
A Promise and a Plea
Summary: Lillie and Clyde lay it all out on the table. Pancake thinks they're assholes for neglecting him.
Date: 1942-09-01
Related: Various.
Players:
lucietta..clyde..pancake..

O'Cleary Residence, Higsi
Thu Aug 31, 1942


Here we have a smaller Victorian fixer-upper with good bones. Previously closed up for a couple of years, the well-secured house has avoided the ravages of neglect. The new owner has already begun to work on some of the more 'tired' corners, making this place her own.

The house, circa early 1900's, consists of a larger lower level and a half-storey. A narrow walkway meanders from the road, through a modest fence and into the yard proper. A slight stoop leads one onto a large outdoor landing with a crude-yet-stable porch swing set up at the farthest end of the step. To the rightmost side of the house, one can just barely discern a garden bed and a sturdy shed. Entering the house proper, one is met with a porch, comfortable den, kitchen with pantry, powder room and two small bedrooms. A narrow staircase ascends to reveal a smaller spare room and an attic crawlspace that is accessible via ladder.

The mustiness has long since been chased away by the smell of TLC, good cooking and something faintly floral. Cut flowers or perfume, perhaps?

Weather:
It is summer. The weather is hot and clear.

(OOC: Mood music: "Nothing Else Matters" - Apocalyptica)


The sun is just about setting, Clyde's done everything eh needed to in town except one last thing. Pancake and the cart are pulled into the driveway. A tarp is over something in the back and the man himself isn't to be seen. But it will be easy for Lillie to feel him, in the first, by the fence making use it's safe. There's something odd about him though, his anger is there, but everything is….muted. Jammed down into his gut.

<FS3> Lillie rolls Empath: Good Success.

Quiet as a mouse and perhaps just as industrious, Lillie had been so caught-up in her work in the house itself that she hadn't yet become aware of her visitor. Or at least, the visitor to the property! She had been working upstairs, hastily seeking out some of her 'tools of the trade' and upon finding them… the Empath descended the stairs and prepared to lock up when——

There's a… donkey.. in her driveway. Lillie freezes atop the porch, keys jangling in her hand as she stares outright. She is clad in a pretty sundress as per her norm, electing to get the best out of the hot weather before it turns. Sadly this beautiful pale yellow number only serves to make the nebulous markings of Roddy Boyd — healing slow but sure — stand out more. Her hair is down and loose for the purpose of hiding the bruises, thin braids pulled back from her temples in a sort of circlet to make her hairstyle all-the-more beseeching.. anything to draw attention away from the bruises. It has mostly worked.

But there's a fucking donkey in her driveway.

Warily, Lillie descends the stairwell, her sense trilling in the back of her mind as she tries to come to terms with what a donkey 'feels'. Her feet finding purchase upon the driveway, she freezes… and feels something much more familiar. Eyes widening, she turns on a heel to face the perimeter of the fence. "Clyde..?" She calls out, tentatively.

This donkey feels tired, he's been pulling a cart all day! As for tthe man. There s a pause after he hears his name, and a flash of…fear? But then that too is shoved down and he moves into sight, frowning. "What are ya doing here, Lillie?" He thought it would be safe to come here.

Blink.. Lillie doesn't know what to be more confused by. The donkey, or the flash of… fear? Was that fear? She pauses, watching Pancake for a time but too nervous to approach. Sorry Clyde, she caught that… and even if she cannot let on that she did, her expression is anxious as a result as she approaches him gracefully. Daintily clad feet whisper across the grass as she moves, hair bouncing. She's missed him, but she's nervou by this fear. "I had to get some art supplies.. I couldn't wait." She admits gently, easily heard. "A-are you okay?" She asks suddenly, the talk with Jesse and that dash of fear warranting this.

And then a more normal flash of annoyance. Art supplies? She endangered herself for art supplies? Somehow that solidifies something in his chest. His dark eyes stare at her, but when she gets close he actually take a step backwards. "I was checkin' the fence." A deep breath, he's nervous, that's easy to tell.

The step back troubles Lillie more. "I-I need them.. for my work.." She trails off. He's staring at her and when Lillie sees fit to close her aporoach, she pauses then. He.. steps back? She doesn't need the sense to determine what's wrong here.. nervousness? In her presence? Her heart begins to thrum hard and her mouth works to form words, but she merely takes a moment to think. "I sense nothing here.. it's safe if I leave before nightfall.." She offers gently, her eyes gray-green in the dying light.

"Clyde.. what's wrong?" She asks, fingers knitting into her skirts. "Something's wrong."

Clyde can't look at the fingers in her skirt. That sign of fear in her just makes it worse. A snarl of fear and he looks over at Pancake. Home. Think of home. "I…we can't…." He takes a deep breath, pursing his lips. "We can't do this anymore. It ain't…I can't do this…" Small tendrils of emotion are escaping his gut. Fear , sadness, love, pain. All shoved into his not full belly.

It's precisely what she feared… entirely. Did it finally happen? Lillie stares outright and there, so easily drawn forth… her eyes brim. Her lips press together into a pained line, so pained. Her fingers clench harder as suddenly… suddenly the sense begins to throb in her head. She stares right at Clyde's face, it feels as if her heart is pounding outside of her ribcage. Color rises up along her neck as now, almost violently, all feelings begin to crowd her. The whispering of the breeze, the birds in the skies… even that ornery donkey behind them. And Clyde.

It's cloying. What happened…? What could have possibly…

"Was somebody found?" She asks flatly, tears skittering past her nose… how easily she lets loose her tears. Her lips quivers as her voice and accent grow thick with emotion. "W-was…" That has to be it. How could he…?

"I-I am ready to do whatever it takes to… to… what is this to you, Clyde?" Lillie asks shakily, her sore hand beginning to throb. "W-was I just a moment of weakness? Before.. I was to be replaced by one who can go where I cannot follow?"

The Snarl turns into an angry one. Frustration brims over, and fear. That's strangely a constant in his belly for now. "Ain't nobody found. It ain't…" His hand clenches and his eyes drift to the marks on her skin. That just bring out more anger. Intense, ragey anger. The alpha's breathing quickens, "Ya don't-can't understand. I…I nearly killed him…"

Him… him…

Roderick Boyd…?

Lillie stares outright at Clyde, her pulse throbbing in her throat. Tears rise and fall in succession, like a second heartbeat, her senses shrieking. It all calls to her but she stares hard, everything in her eyes and face. She follows Clyde's dark gaze just enough to assume where it lays, and with a swift gesture she throws back the swath of her hair, eyes not leaving his even as he yet looks upon what remains. In the tossing of her hair her scent is revealed; typical Lillie, clean and pleasant. THe underlying hint of the tides beginning to rise in her body.. more cause for powerful sense and emotion.

"I understand enough." She says shakily, trying to introduce some firmness.. it's hard. "The last time he touched me… th-the twister…. something happened immediately." Lillie recalls tremulously. "This was no different.. you have always taken care of me." She whispers sadly, shivering once.

"He could have done so much worse.. and he never will again. He is not dead and he is now afraid, I'm sure of it. B-because Clyde.." Lillie shifts. "I saw his eyes.. I saw them.. he hates you. He will have tried to do worse with you.. w-with guns.. with…" Oh, how closely she skirts a certain reality that has already happened. She sobs softly.

Clyde's shaking, or is he trembling? Either way, his head shakes, those curls flying madly in every direction, "If Clifton hadn't….I would have cracked his chest open." He says that like it means something more than just a gory terrible thing. His eyes close, her scent is strong, almost overwhelming. "I can't…. I don't wanna be that… I ain't a monster…" Welllll…….yes he is. But he's trying to not be. His grunt of a laugh is sharp. With guns, oh, if she only knew.

<FS3> Lillie rolls Mind: Great Success.

What a calamity. Lillie sways, still fielding that rage.. but look at her. She's still standing, still holding his gaze — whatever measure he flits in her direction — unwavering. Tearful, sad and scared…. but for different reasons. "You're not a monster.." Lillie whispers, and there is a sureness there. Even as his rage boils in her guts and makes the edges of her vision redden a bit as blood rushes to her head, she holds fast. "I know naught what you are and I respect you enough not to ask… I will never again ask…"

Breathe, breathe, breathe. Lillie tries to rally, his anger and hurt and fear is just drowning her. To look at her is to see her battling something, as if fatigued… the ghost sense? Is something encroaching upon her? A vision? It sure looks that way—-

A whisper in the back of her mind, a beautiful voice that lasts for all of a second or two.. two syllables, spoken in Gaelic. Lillie lifts her chin, eyes glittering with love and anxiety. Her powerful mind rallies and holds Clyde's emotions within herself at bay.

"Whatever it is you fight against within yourself Clyde, I-I believe in you.. you told me initially that this was not meant to be but damnit, I am in love with you." Lillie says tremulously. "I can't just pull that back.. regardless of what terrible man you think yourself to be. What matters is you did not.. c-crack his.. chest open. You did NOT." She cries out forcefully.

What manner of strength has he, to even do such a thing?

He is though. A complete monster. He can't be anything else, not when she's around. That increased breathing is almost fearful, panting. His eyes flash when he sees her, clearly distraught above just his words. They seems to bring out the worst in each other. "We ain't good, Lillie….look at you…" There's move curls swaying at a negative head shake, "I can't fight it. It ain't something to fight." That's probably not helpful. "…I wanted to. And more. I still might if I ever see him again…" His teeth gnash and he turns his head, "Ya bring it out….Yer always…" his hand clenches, "I worry bout ya all the time, I'm….I can't…"

Guilt is stirred into the mix. God, what is happening? To Clyde? The rage felt tangible, an absolute force; his breath is coming fast and fearful and Lillie takes another slow breath. "I am what I am.. I have handled what I am capable of for many years." She says frankly, her worry arising only for the Alpha. She watches every move he makes, the grass quivering at her heels as she tries to keep herself together. For Clyde's sake.

"If we aren't good, why did you keep returning? To make sure I'm safe? Why did you fight off the men and things that would hurt me?" Lillie asks softly, pouring every single bit of her mental strength into keeping her voice calm and lilting, even as her heart flutters like a wild thing and the Alpha's emotions accost her like a battering ram.

Tears skitter downwards, swiftly. "W-what can I do to ease your heart and mind?" She near-whispers, pushing her hair back again, the heat eliciting a thin sweat.

"Why is it that the safest I've felt in my life, to date, has been with an apparent monster?" The Empath asks in a small voice.

Clyde's not that strong, this is tearing him apart. His jaw works and then he says the one thing that could make this even harder, "I didn't say I didn't love ya…" Because he does. He can't deny that, but…But. His eyes rise again to meet hers, are they a lighter color? or is that just the setting sun catching the tears? "Yer safe…it's everyone else…" His hand raises to touch his own chest, "I can't be like that, Lillie…I can't. It's…my clan needs me ta be strong, not…." Murdering people because they touched his girlfriend that he's not even supposed to have.

Oh, she feels that too… this tearing, rending thing. Then his tears. Lillie stares into his eyes, indeed thinking of his family. As she often foisted upon Jesse, she cannot bear to be the cause of familial strife.. of breakdown. It very nearly happened already. But this is different; why is the thought of losing him forever so agonizing? Because it is. The Empath's lip quivers once and she nearly loses her grip upon her strength, her chin dropping toward her chest as she takes a deep breath through her nostrils. Hearing him make mention of reciprocated love is simultaneously gut-wrenching and elating and… gah.

"You are strong." She whispers, looking as if she wants to step forth. She does. She can't help it. "So strong."

Lillie stares at him, his tears, and that almost breaks her. More come forth from her deep reservoir, her hands lifting to clasp in front of her breastbone, her bruises shiny with sweat in the dying light. "I-I never want to cause.. hurt.. to your family. Your clan." Clan clan clan.. monster. What is he. Do not care. Just this moment now.

"If I take extra care… stay out of danger… w-will it help you.." So close, she's so close. Her scent can be intoxicating. A hitching breath. "I c-cannot see you go for good—I can't bear.."

Clyde tenses, almost like he's going to bolt, but stays still watching her like a cornered animal. Watching that bruise. "You can't…" He swallows hard, "It's in yer nature…" Just like murder is in his, apparently. He's still panting, fear and her scent makes it hard to think. Half of him wants to run, the other half wants to grab her. Dominate her. She's his. It's a terrible mix of emotions to have in his chest, battling away.

Maybe it's cruel of her to perpetuate this.. but it would be worse — at least in Lillie's opinion — to run him off, to lie and say she does not care. But there you have it. This panting, fearful, angry, utterly emotive thing with flashing eyes and tears and wild hair that Clyde has become. Cornered animal; has Lillie made the connection? A connection to 'something'? Has this slight woman with a finger on the pulse of the supernatural surmised anything of this mountain man being anything other than human?

His tension washes over her, causing muscles in her throat and chest to tighten, her fingers to clench once as she wills it away. Everything feels so powerful for a variety of reasons. She can see the struggle at this decision, and what she feels is harder still.

Carefully, gently, Lillie reaches for him with no ulterior motive other than to comfort. Hands reach forth to touch his chest, where a great many things roil, and then if Clyde allows it her palms rise gingerly to cup his face. She simply looks into his face and eyes, as he pants and fights. "I can." She whispers.

Clyde flinches, but doesn't pull away when she touches his chest. An almost too rapid heartbeat can be felt. The flinch shifts to an almost pained look when she tries to touch his chest and he steps away. "Ya don't though." She doesn't, at least she's not yet shown care in that sense. "N' knowing me…knowing my clan, it weren't gonna do ya any favors…ya should of….went ta the sheriff." But she couldn't. They wouldn't believe a person who has befriended the Walkers. The alpha's hands clench tighter, Eyes downcast to the ground, "…Even now, I wanna track him down n' kill him."

A twinge of hurt, but Lillie does not persist. Her hands drop to her sides, fingers twitching and resisting the urge to knit into the cloth of her skirt. Instead, she simply watches the Alpha, worry coming off of her in waves… were she in the crosshairs of another Empath, the concoction within her heart and body would be intense. "I encountered Clifton when I was leaving that part of the river where Roddy caught me." She says softly, brow furrowed. "Not even a half hour later, walking back into town. I was upset. H-how could I have hidden that from Clif? To lie? And who am I to go up against Roderick Boyd, Clyde.." Lillie looks down at her feet, wiping an eye. "A foreigner, against a moneyed local. T-they will have not believed me."

Her eyes flit up to the man's balled fists, her lips pressing together as she bites back another little tearful hitch of breath. "He's gone, Clyde.. he was the true monster here. He was… and you're strong enough to resist tracking him. It's not worth it. It's not.." She looks skyward, tears glistening along her neck. "It's my fault for striking him. But he got too close. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine.. I should have ran."

Clyde snarls back, not really at her, but she's in front of him, "You know damn well they'd listen to you more if you weren't mine." And the bruises on her neck would be hard to argue. Gone? Is anyone ever really gone here? Well, besides most of his clan. "He'll come back. Always does." And then Clyde is going to have to make a hard call. His eyes flash again as he looks ups at her, they do seem lighter. It's unsettling, really. He doesn't say if he thinks it's her fault or not, he's too mixed up in his feelings to really even consider it. "I"m…I'm tired, Lillie…I can't keep …fightin'…" Fighting Roddy? Fighting her? Himself?

"I don't…" Lillie starts.. sometimes that which she feels is too hard to hold back. Clyde's anger is a potent, powerful force… it needles her, bolsters her strength some. Fresh tears spring to her eyes and she tries to meet his gaze. "Maybe they would. I'm sure they would. But that is a choice t-that I have consciously made." She says firmly, trying to muster every single scrap of force that she can pull forth. "I made that choice. Neither you nor your kin forced this on me… and I accept it." She is tremulous, but still holding fast. A few measured steps take her toward the fence and she leans against it, taking a deep breath. A glance over a lithe shoulder to meet those eyes…. so much lighter, for some reason.

Clan. Monster. Breaking open a man's chest. Panting.

A flash of something in Lillie's eyes, and she turns on a heel to face the man. "I'm not asking you to fight for me.. I'm not asking you to exhaust yourself.. Clyde…" She stares at him. "I'm asking you to let me make you happy, or try to. I-I may walk into things but my heart is in the right place… w-why can't you let yourself be happy?"

The money question!

Clyde's face twitches, she's not understanding…or refusing to understand, "N' that choice comes back n' hurts me, Lillie!" He doesn't accept it! "You get in' hurt hurts me." He watches her retreat to the fence, both upset and relieved that she puts space between them. Because he was made to suffer? Clyde's lip curls again, all those negative emotions still rattling around in his chest, constricting his heart. That question though, it's been asked of him before. He doesn't quite shake his head, but his curls tremble. "I…I ain't…." his tongue darts out, only adding to the animalistic vibe he's putting off. "It ain't about you making me happy. Lillie…..you do….but…" again he looks up at her, eyes wet, "I'm losin' myself…."

The emotions are cloying.. Lillie hugs herself, brow furrowing. "I-I never want to hurt…" She trails off, feeling her resolve faltering beneath the great, wild weight of what Clyde is putting forth. Despite the heat gooseflesh arises and she trembles once, twice; she leans back against the fence, facing him now, taking a moment to look upon those uncharacteristically bright eyes. His lips curl, only adding to that strange feral vibe… Lillie's heart hurts and her common sense rails against her: 'look at this, feel this, is this human'

"How…" She whimpers, staring at him. "How are you losing yourself? W-what is… I'm trying to understand…. how are you losing yourself, Clyde.. because I can't bear to see you lost. What can I do."

She pushes forth from the fence, impassioned and upset and scared. "Tell me what I can do!" The Empath cries out, holding those tearful wild eyes with her own. "To help you find your way back!"

Clyde knows, he can feel the wolf on the edge. His finger tips tingle and he feels like he needs to crack it. He breaks eye contact, looking towards poor, strangely patient Pancake. He tries to gather himself, not lose himself further. "Ya can't understand." She shouldn't have to. His hands come up and he runs fingers through his hair. It's a very Clyde motion, his curls going every which way. "I don't know." Help him? Leave him? Is he already to lost? "I know…This can't…..keep goin' the way it is."

It's time to sample that anger again, feed her own resolve again. Lillie does not like doing that, but in moments like these where her heart is breaking.. it's needed. She pulls herself up to her full height and takes a deep, fierce breath through her nostrils. She can smell the grass, the forest, smoke on the air and Clyde. He stands there uncertain, Pancake observes balefully… Lillie sees her chances slipping and it is all she can do, now, to offer one more appeal.

"T-the decision is yours Clyde.. were I not to accept it, I would be no better than a monster myself." She whispers, eyes aglow with moisture. "But I just want you to remember, before you leave here.. that each and everytime I've made you happy.. to even smile.. was a gift. I remember each one." Lillie says softly… not even in a creepy way. It's heartfelt. "Every nuance.. even when I first gave you that pie outside of the mansion and you suspected me.. there was that moment, when I was sure…" She pushes her own hair back, lip quivering before she catches herself. "The pillows… the meals… those times when you let your guard down, w-when I felt so honored that you would.. I remember them all and that, there, is how I can help… regardless of not understanding." She looks skyward again, "I want to.. but I have been respecting you in not asking…"

She can feel his control over something wavering, and she looks pained. "I can't make you do anything, regardless of how badly I want and love. Do you want me to walk away, right now?" Her voice breaks now, this being the hardest thing to say… ever. No empathy needed to surmise the pain that she roils with, and the love. "Put aside the notion that your sister hates me, that your cousin does too.. rightfully so… all of those deciding factors… and tell. me. what. YOU WANT.." Lillie despairs, tears streaming.

Decision? Is this even a decision? It feel more like a damning. A monster? He flinches, even though the word isn't directed at him. Smiles, pie, tornado moments…. it helps, but at what cost? He doesn't answer, he can't trust his voice to. Instead he swallows, forcing himself to look at her, those tears he's causing. He should have never started this. Jesse's right, he's a right bastard. And then he whimpers, such a strange vulnerable noise for someone brimming with rage, "….you."

What cost? Everything that Lillie is willing to give up, along with change. She can tell that something hit home, as the Alpha's emotions shift and roll and twist. It can't be easy. The Empath watches him, her sense and hormones and emotions making her feel almost light-headed, eyes clear and bright in the waning sun. Clyde looks up at her, and she can see the absolute brunt of his pain. The look he is giving her right now is not too unlike the one he revealed to her on that very day when she first gave herself to him. Lillie only needs to recollect this, to read between the lines here. "I am here, right here, because I want to be." She starts, wanting so badly to go to him. It can be seen in every single movement in her body. "I did my part in this.. what we have started… just as willingly. You wouldn't believe how long, for how long the thought of you haunted me. Before.. this." 'This' being said tenderly.

A silence, as bullfrogs begin to pipe up in the woods; a lone coyote howls mournfully. As the rage sizzles over her, there in that storm is a singular sound that breaks her: that whimper. Suddenly Lillie just can't contain her tears anymore, and a sob strains from her throat. Clyde's hurt is agonizing.

"And I want you.. nobody could ever come close to you.." She cries out; not tears of hurt persay, but want. "Whatever you are, all that you feel and what you're capable of.. all of the bad and the great amount of good that you cannot yet see, I want it all C-Clyde.." Lillie whispers, "I promise you I will not leave you to worry.. not again.."

Clyde' jaw quivers, his resolve, or whatever it is, is shaken. The howl, even though it's just a coyote, stabs him in the heart. His breath catches as eh watches her, fear and anger and want all jumbled together. His breathing has picked up again into panting, eyes wide and watching her. He doesn't reposed verbally, but his head tilts slightly, another soft whine escapes him.

Lord above, so animalistic. Shouldn't this scare her? Really, really terrify her? Most sane women would say 'fuck this' and hop into that cart, getting Pancake to dash (*cough*) them off into the sunset. See, Lillie is sane in her own way.. but..

The fact remains: Miss O'Clery loves a monster.

All is mostly quiet again, save for the thrumming chorus of night birds, bugs and amphibians. The Empath's slightly stressed breaths, and Clyde's peculiar and jarring panting. She holds his gaze, her sense screaming at her: careful, careful now.

Everything about him, in this moment, is like there's some sort of wild animal wearing his human skin. That tilting of the head, curls bouncing. Lillie remembers what she had done in the hallway, and while she is not crazy enough to try that again… something comes to mind. She… lowers?

Slowly lowers to seat herself, legs curling beneath her body prettily, her arms out and palms up in offering. "Come here, Clyde. Please… p-please.." It's a different kind of submission, not borne of fear or lust.. but an offering all-the-same. "You don't have to be afraid of me. For me. Ever."

Never let be said that psychology doesn't work. He watches her sit, become smaller and that instinct to protect grows in the alpha. He jerks slightly, glancing around the area almost like he's just realizing where they are, out in the open. vulnerable. "I ain't afraid of you." He is, a little, but not physically. She has a power over him that scares him. Makes his wolf edgy. Even as he says this, he takes a few steps closer, not enough to be next to her, but he's at leafs not edging away.

Honestly? Lillie is going about this solely to communicate, not to control. She has suspicions but as of yet does not know, precisely, what her actions are doing. He speaks, which reassures Lillie that he is still present. She can hear his steps edging closer and she looks down some, head tilting with her hair obscuring the bruised side of her neck, leaving the other side bare to curve in a graceful arc. Her brow furrows briefly at his words and she looks up at him from beneath her lashes. He's not edging away, but Lillie… yet worries.

They yet remain in the Empath's yard, perhaps closer to the outer perimeter beyond the shed, with the whiteness of the fence seeming stark in the setting sun.

"Clyde." Lillie says again, her tone not quite as watery and sad.. but there's something else there. No, not firmness; tender? Yes. Wanting? Indeed. Her lilting tone, simultaneously sad and seductive in her position of submitting, asks onwards. "What will you do now?"

The wolf wants to stay. Killing enemies is fine with it. Killing those that threaten his territory…fine with it. The man is the one who's scared, who's fearful. Fearful of losing himself to the wolf. Those too light eyes watch her, his breathing is evening out. The clenched fists loosen. What will he do? "I… don't' know." It's truthful, if not helpful. "I want to….keep everyone safe….do what's right…" he's so tired, it's hard to think with his chest like this!

"You need to rest, Clyde." Lillie whispers, watching him sadly, lovingly. "So many things you want to do, people to look after.. things to fix. That's how you're losing yourself." She says softly, still seated and making herself smaller.. but there. Though finally, she looks up at him, heart breaking all over again. "But there's only so much you can do if you're not looking after yourself. You can't keep anyone safe if you don't do well for yourself." She whispers, tears brimming. She can't take it. Slowly, she gets to her feet, skirts whispering around her calves. Her eyes do not leave the Alpha, her own hands relaxing.

"You had your ability to rest taken away from you a long time ago, and you think that you must press on.. never resting.. always protecting.. but what about you.." Lillie feels her emotion rearing up again, in pain for him. Carefully, tentatively, she approaches but pauses again, a breath away. "M-may I hold you?"

That sounds so nice. To rest. to be held. He frowns, for a moment the feral melting away into the frowning man. Except for those eyes, so very unClyde like. "There's so few of us, Lillie…I gotta protect them…i should have been there when it happened…" He wasn't then, but he's here now. His chest expands as he takes a deep breath, trying to control everything, trying to shove everything down into his gut. "I can't do that if I'm….lost." He's losing this fight though, his body sways ever so slightly towards her. That's all the answer she gets.

"You can always be there." Lillie says gently, watching him sway. That's all she needs, he's fighting so hard.. and this will either make it or break it. She pads forth, and carefully seeks to encircle her lithe arms around his chest, hugging close and resting the side of her face against his heart. His eyes, they still strike her.. now, more than ever, she knows 'enough'. More than ever she wants to… no, not run.. but protect in her own way. "Let me support you, as I have been. Let me do whatever it is I can to lighten the load.." She trails off, keeping her voice measured and reasonable though it's still rife with emotion. She's trying her hardest.

A deep breath, and she tilts her head back, neck craning to look up at his warring face. "W-we cannot change what happened, this terrible thing that happened… I cannot even bring myself to understand wholly what happened, n-nor will I insult you by pretending that I can. W-we cannot change it.. only if we could play God and turn back time." Lillie says levelly, tears spilling down her cheeks. For Clyde, for his kin.

"I may do foolish things, a-and I'm working on.. not… not anymore. But I can help. I can give you that space to return to, whenever you need to, t-to at least.. rest.." She quivers then, it rises up again. Face crumbles and she hitches, burying her forehead closer. "You n-need t-to.. to r… rest… or it will only hurt them.. and you.."

Clyde's trembling, she can feel that even before she touches him. His heart is start pounding away in his chest, hard enough it must hurt. He doesn't move away, but his arms down lift to hold her back. A wary, uncertain filled look, he's trying to keep those other emotions shoved down, but they are seeping out. More fear, worry. Love. When she crumbles though, buries into his chest. It's too much for the man and his arms go up, "I don't know what to do, Lillie…" He doesn't. He thought a clean break would be best, but that's not going to happen, probably ever. And maybe he doesn't want it to.

Suddenly that brief, very uncomfortable chat with Jesse comes up… Lillie isn't about to stir that into the pot yet, but now is as good a time as any to… nod toward the blind Walker's concern while blending it with her own. "You need to trust your clan." Her first time referring to his kin as such. "That they can work hard to pull the load, let them take care of you. I-it cannot always be you looking after them.. o-or you'll wear down, burn out…" Lillie sighs shakily, tears seeping into his shirt. "Y-you need to look after yourself… let others care for you. Let yourself breathe." Quieter now; his heart is a pounding thing against her cheek. Such a swift heartbeat, almost as alarming as his brighter gaze.

Clyde holds her following her breakdown and Lillie simply gazes up at him. "Clyde.. stop being so cruel to yourself, so hard. Whatever happened it's NOT your fault." She whispers, rising up a touch on her tiptoes so she can look deeper into that intense gaze, lips closer to his. Desperate to be heard. "That is where you must.. must start.."

That's what good Alphas do though! He's just bad at it! Different emotions battle for control of his face. She's in his arms though, and smell so perfect and he's so tired. He also seems to be jumping incidents, "It were my fault. I went after him, broke him…" Not broke his arm, broke Roddy. "I couldn't control it…not after the gun n' then you…"His hand raises, are his eyes a shade darker now? And just like that, his arms are tighter around her, holding her close.

Gun…? Lillie's keen mind has been following Clyde's tangents easily enough, though she had to pause some at the jump from talk of his clan.. to that of Roddy. Her scent, pressed in this close, is perhaps appealing.. with that underlying hint of… so wonderfully dangerous. But talk of a gun has Lillie press closer, both out of concern and protectiveness. Her eyes are rounded and anxious, their color a perfect blend of gray-green in this light. "Did Roddy…" She knows he liked to carry guns; that his father, a fatcat accountant, had a collection. Lillie's chest presses to Clyde's, her heart a little pony engine as it throbs in alarm.

To his lips, she asks, voice quaking. "Did Roderick Boyd come after you with a gun?" She asks shakily, now clinging.

Clyde frowns, realizing he slip. He tells a half truth, "At vet Styne's….pulled a gun, said I were forcing myself on….You, her." He shakes his head, hair taking on a life of it's own. He didn't lie, but it's not all there is to it either. He inhales, her scent is doing him in. "Got it away from him….He were grabbin' on her…" He should have broke the man's arm again then. He blinks, slowly, the adrenaline of everything is starting to leave him. "She's ok."

"That fucking son of a bitch." She snarls… knowing well that Clyde does not lie, and in this instance — after the emotion of it all — not wanting to pry further. But a cursing Lillie is a as striking as it is cute; fucking comes out as 'fecking'. Clyde may very well be relieved that Lillie will take what he gives him, though her body can be felt shuddering once in revulsion. Clyde dips into the scent of her again and she tilts her head some, sheafs of her hair tumbling gracefully over a shoulder while Clyde's own wild curls bounce and sway. What does adrenaline feel like to an Empath? What one might expect: frantic, heart-pounding, muscle-quaking energy. It leaves Clyde slowly, siphoning through the woman in-turn and being cast out slowly…

Her fingers knit into his shirt to hold tight. What if that pig Roddy pulled that gun, to shoot…. she holds tighter. Not wanting to even think about this man's wonderful body being riddled with bullets. (HAH)

Nose wrinkling, brow still brooding and knit over those amazing eyes, Lillie leans up ans presses her mouth to his fiercely. There's some anger of her own backing this, fresh and sharp.

A low , barely there chuckle at her swear. It always makes him laugh, when ladies swear. Clyde takes a deep breath, ready to try to let go, to think and figure out what's best. But then she's suddenly, aggressively kissing him and the wolf responds back. Strong arms tighten, possessively, and he growls into her mouth, taking more than he gives. If his teeth seem longer than usually, it must be a trick of the heightened emotions.

To deepen the kiss is to feel something… his teeth, have they always been—-

At the precise moment the tip of her tongue perhaps rakes one of his eyeteeth, finding it to be more 'there' than before, Clyde is growling — literally growling — into her mouth. Her back straightens some, though not out of aversion… surprise, maybe? Just a touch. But in doing so she only thrusts herself closer to him, against the width of his chest and the heat of him. Clyde's arms are stronger, tighter; Lillie draws back to breathe, her eyes wide and wet and dark as she searches his face. A tremulous sigh, she's trying to comprehend it all—-

Lillie arches in, and takes his neck with her mouth, pressing her lips insistently against the front of his throat. She draws there, gently nibbling, his growl still echoing in her mind. What is he? What is he?!

Clyde was all set to not kiss her, to not start this up again. She started it! His eyes squeeze shut and he makes a grunting noise as she starts on his neck. The grip on her shifts, but doesn't lessen. He seems to need her against him, not just because she's kissing him and starting that up. Emotionally he feels like he's going to topple. Just fall over.

Gently, gently.. she eases back, though the heat of her has not left him. There is still breath, and it is here that Lillie speaks. "I-I'm not going to take, if it's something that shouldn't be taken.." She whispers, having felt that great lurching of emotion.. all so heavy. She nuzzles then, eyes squeezing shut as she maintains her control. Heart throbbing, heat rising. "Tell me what you want. You need to tell me right now. I never want to hurt you and i-if this hurts you, you need to tell me right now—-" The Empath nearly begs. This is Clyde's chance to break free! Will he?

Clyde presses into her, she can't do this then pull away! "…I don't know…" And he doesn't. He can't answer that, not with her in his arms, begging and smelling the way she does! Instead of answering her he bends his neck, seeking out her mouth again.

She's trying to be sensitive! Lillie doesn't want to pull back either but she still sees Clyde as so… 'raw'? To come at him when he's filled with all of these emotions, his eyes so fierce (in a way) and sad… how could she be so….

He gives her the best answer he can, and Lillie looks up and at his face openly and worriedly. But oh, so full of love. So much so that it trickles down past the slight upturn of her nose and off the end of her chin. She's so transfixed by Clyde that she could hardly hope to notice or care what poor Pancake is up to over there. Will the ornery donkey have meandered over, to the best of his ability with a cart, to sample some of the blossoms that grow alongside the driveway? The newborn veggie garden is still pretty far off.

Clyde leans in and Lillie meets him, pressing her mouth to his and trying with all her might to put every ounce of her adoration into that embrace. She needn't say words, to beg. There is but one request, said against his mouth and those 'longer' teeth. "Let me take care of you." So much to be found in that phrase; the sky has waned into the color of ochre, lavender… darkness isn't far off.

The veggies may be safe form Pancake, but not the flowers. *Munch munch munch*

But the Alpha is not safe. He may never be again. Needy mouth, hands griping her tightly. He feels so lost and she's his only anchor. Or is she the storm? Tasting her tears, he gives a small whimper, her words tug at him, "You…shouldn't…" Despite that, he doesn't stop kissing and holding her.

Poor Clyde… Lillie may very well be both of those things. A good and a bad thing. The least she can do is hopefully make it worth his turmoil! As Pancake has his way with her annuals, Lillie gives into the embrace for a moment or two longer. Her mind is an absolute storm in itself, warring between the genuine feelings for the Alpha and the deep-down sense of… 'holy shit, what is going on, what am I sensing? what is this going on with his teeth?' … that kinda thing. Clyde's whimper brings her back, and she gently, gently breaks the kiss and reaches for one of his hands. Assuming he allows her to do so, she will bring that mitt of his up and back a bit so that she may rest her cheek into the palm.

The very palm that drew forth screams of agony and terror from Mr. Boyd.. the Empath rests the fine curve of her cheekbone into it and looks up at him from beneath her lashes.

"I want to." Lillie says softly, despite everything, despite knowing well and wholly in her heart and gut that Clyde is. not. normal. She watches him for a few heartbeats, nuzzling his hand.

"F-forgive me for all of the trouble I've caused you, the stress, the fear… let me help to bring you back."

Clyde's shivering, but not from the cold. His eyes seem to be back to their normal almost black cold and but the time she pulls away, there's nothing abnormal feeling about his mouth. His chest is expanding with the deep breaths he's taking, no panting anymore, just definitely accelerated. His gaze lands on the tears, now wetting his palm and he frowns. "You shouldn't…this can only end badly…" He said that from the beginning though, that's nothing new. Suddenly with those ridiculous curls and his own pitiful expression, he looks much younger. He could pass for Jesse's age. Maybe it's just the vulnerability. His eyes travel from her cheeks all around her face, in that trying to memorize it way he does. "If….If I go to far….If I get too lost…" he swallows, still trying to not out his family, "I won't come back. I can't come back from that. Can…can you understand that?" With only half information?

His shivering rocks her, as one of her hands rests upon the back of Clyde's fingers as her face yet remains nuzzled into his palm. Her opposite arm reaches forth so that she may rest that hand upon the side of his chest, feeling that heartbeat. "I have been told this." She whispers, "It will go as it must, I couldn't help falling for you." Is admitted next, complete honesty.. so honest that it hurts. Lillie holds his gaze again, noting the return to that blackness… had it been a trick of the sunset, casting itself into his tears? But no, it's nothing new.. and Lillie shows no signs of stepping back. She's in too deep.

Lillie's eyes trace Clyde's features, from the tops of crazed curls to the line of his jaw, and she is indeed noticing.. something. That vulnerability. Her heart lurches, so much so that she very nearly sways.. she can indeed see that which Clyde was, perhaps, before devastation hit his family. "I can see you right now as you were, and so badly wish to be." The Empath whispers. "Oh, Clyde." Softer still, barely a breath.

A thrum of fear, but she holds fast. "K-knowing what I know now… which obviously is not the full story.. I'll take it as it comes. I'm going to understand as best I can." Lillie pledges, a tear flicking past her nose despite itself. "I'm going to try my hardest, Clyde."

Clyde Nods, agreeing. He couldn't help loving her either. But that doesn't help neither of them really. Her musing about what he was, it brings the tinniest upturn to a corner of his mouth. Swaying curls, "I ain't nothing like I was. I can't ever be what I wished." His thumb finally moves, stroking away some tears. "Me too.' He'll try, hopefully he'll not be presented with another change to eat an enemies heart. O.o

How is it that she seems to… pluck thinks out of thin air that are relevant? Lillie continues to watch the man's face raptly, and the spell is broken as his thumb wipes away the nonstop tears. Her lip quivers briefly as she hangs off of Clyde's words, head tilting downwards somewhat as she sniffles. Even after all of this bawling she is still rather nicely put together. As mentioned before: she cries pretty. Stupid Lillie.

"Y-you deserve to come close.." She utters, voice husky with tears and emotion as the grass sways some in the cooling breeze. "To what you were. Surely your kin want such a thing too." She pauses, looking up again, lashes dappled with moisture. Much as Clyde looks surprisingly vulnerable in the evening's dying light, so too does Lillie seem to take a step back. She cants her chin up, locking eyes, really wanting to get this point a cross.

"I s-swear I'll be good. I'll be careful." Lillie says pointedly, breath puffing through her nostrils swiftly in the emotion of it all. There, too, is how she must have appeared as a girl much younger, all beguiling with those eyes. "I-I won't bring you a lick of worry.. I promise. I promise." She whispers, as if the thought of hurting Clyde further is the antichrist. Gotta hand it to her, she's emotive. No eating hearts!

Does Clyde really deserve it? He almost murdered some one. he definitely injured him permanently. His kin? he frowns, swallowing. he knows what his kin want. His breath catches as she steps away, fingers twitch like he's going to reach for her. But the promise. the oath. she can't keep that, can she? She can't control the universe. But that last shred of hope has him nodding, his curls agreeing to it before he does. In a voice that sounds too soft he simply says, "Okay."

<FS3> Lillie rolls Empath: Success.

The sense, previously a pillaging thing that emanated the whole exchange, has… calmed some. Is it gone? Yeah no, Calmer? Perhaps… it's always waiting, always simmering. Lillie yet feels a great many things, but if there is one thing she can boast? It's that strong mind. Her green eyes hold Clyde's even as she steps back some, but not too far. No. She is just watching him, taking him in. She may not be able to control the universe, but she can hold fast to the here-and now. She knows naught of oaths, of the arcana passed down amidst werewolves and their hierarchy. She is feeling the storm in Clyde's mind and heart, all of the uncertainty and pain… but there is that tiny shred of hope. That is what pushes her to lift one slender hand, seeking his in hopes of holding it.

"I promise." Lillie holds his eyes, admiring his beauty even in turmoil. It's obvious that she is taking every single one of Clyde's features into the vault of her mind, but she always finds her way back to his eyes. "I promise." She cannot say it enough, as her nostrils flare and she seeks him out. Should he take her hand, she will pull in close again, and press her lips to his.

Clyde nods again, eyes still wet. he can't seem to catch his breath. He believes her, as much as he can. He hopes. Fingers lace into hers and he then alters her pull, stepping closer, but pulling her into him, into his mouth again. He can't seem to find the right words, so he doesn't. instead he lets his kiss tell her. It may be for only now, but he loves her, she's his.

As expected, the Alpha's wet eyes are the most startling thing to Lillie. Not to say she thought him incapable of emotion… but the expression that he wears now is a far cry from the scowling man that often met her in the street, whether during a late night walk (she lost track of time often) or one of her many follies. Whether snatching nails and pie from her hands or begrudgingly accepting a scarf to keep him warm. Lillie couldn't have anticipated, then, what stands before her now.

But there he is.

Pulled close, the woman practically melts into the Alpha' hold, arms rising finally to rise up and wrap around his neck to hold him proper. She will spar with his mouth for a time, and upon needing to draw breath she will break the kiss for the few seconds it takes to kiss the tears from his face, body pressing unabashedly close to his. His actions speak loud and clear.

So too might those of the impatient donkey.. will Pancake have to make a pancake in the driveway to make these jerks listen to him?

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