What Could've Been |
Summary: | The interlude of a sleepless night, and a glimpse into some of what James' smile hides. |
Date: | 1942-03-01 |
Related: | None. |
Small Park, Higsi
Wed Mar 01, 1942
This is more of a makeshift baseball diamond with swings and a picnic area than an actual park. There is a fence behind what was homeplate, and on the other side a small set of bleachers, but no real dugouts or anything. Certainly no school games were played here, but possibly the children in town come here to play.
Weather:
It is winter. The weather is cool and drizzling.
<FS3> Lillie rolls Empath: Great Success.
This is one of the few places where Lillie O'Clery feels comfortable going to, after dark. The place she calls home, for now anyway, is literally a hop skip and a jump away and if she /really/ needs to hoof it back in a hurry, she can. The problem with renting a room in a house that is not her own — no matter how much she adores her landlady — is that she has no real privacy. Bedroom walls can almost be suffocating.. /especially/ when her mind is a spinning dervish. Lillie has so much food-for-thought that the prospect of resting in bed, or reading a book… it does not appeal.
She needs air, coolness, and glimpses of a starry sky. Though there are thick swathes of clouds up there in the heavens, casting down a fine drizzly mist, the Irish girl gets just that.
Seated upon one of the swings, Lillie pushes at the earth below the seat halfheartedly with a foot. She's wearing her fugly gumboots tonight… they're almost a comfort. Even the sounds of the town proper are muted here, replaced by night birds and the little whiny creak of the frigid chains that are keeping the swing — and her body — suspended. Her sense is strong tonight, extending mental 'feelers' into the night but not hitting home.
By all accounts, James should be asleep. He was late for work this morning, and another morning shift tomorrow. But despite all that, he is awake. Dreams of sickness, arguments, and regrets kept him awake. He sighs as he wanders the unfamiliar town. It looked different at night, less welcoming. Cold. He shivers a little when a gust of winter wind passes over him before he notices the park, and the baseball diamond. Where once his steps seemed broken and aimless, he walked with a bit more purpose as he made his way to home plate. He takes a minute, looking at each of the bases before imagining himself playing the game. The roar of the crowd, reading the signals from the coach, the windup, the pitch… And it is in that moment he realized he was not alone. "Oh!" He exclaims, spending rather surprised. "Hey Lillie…" He offers her, sounding slightly confused, he clearly wasn't expecting to see anyone. "How uh… how are you? Nice night, yeah?"
Lacking in sleep and heavy in thought, this makes Lillie susceptible to 'stronger' sense. Long story short: her empathy is at a fever pitch tonight, and this compounds everything. Once in awhile someone walks past the fence and the sense will feed her the barest snippets of what /that/ person could be feeling in the moment. Very frustrating; luckily it's not happening a lot. Higsi as-a-whole tends to turn in early, and fewer still are mulling life over in a small park after 9pm. Soon she will realize, sitting in silence, that she is not alone here.
She is aware of James before she even sees or hears him, and his emotional presence is a curious one. Her sense latches onto James the moment he enters the small park, and Lillie's lashes flutter shut as she gives into the call. She hadn't worked today, but she too is slated to be in tomorrow morning for her usual Thurs-Fri-Sat stint. She does not know of James being late this morning.
Shifting uncomfortably in the swing, Lillie's brow furrows as she picks through a troubling cluster of emotions; these all 'feel' deeply sown and encompassing. Frequent. Suddenly she remembers the intense shock that she received upon first tuning into James.. she's not going to igonre this one.
Her bottom lip pulls beneath her top in a moue of unrest, fingers clutching the chains. But suddenly, wending it's way into the sadness, there's a tendril of wistfulness. Lillie's eyes open and peer toward the figure that now stands in the diamond and reflects. That tendril becomes a brilliant light in her mind's eye, a thrum in her chest… excitement? A fierce longing grabs at the Empath's heart and she leans down toward her knees as if pained. Suddenly, Lillie has a hunch… but she is brought back to the present once James speaks to her. She looks up, hair blowing in the cool breeze. "Hallo James. This your thinking spot, too? I'm.. okay. Can't sleep, y'see."
Her lips pull into a rueful smile. "Y'play ball, once upon a time?" She hazards a guess.
"Are you ok?" James asks the pained empath, unaware of the effect the maelstrom of emotions that James felt is having on her. He begins to walk toward Lillie, fixing his jacket and doing other small things to be just a bit more presentable. He clearly wasn't expecting to talk to anybody. "I've never been here before, was just wandering around town. Couldn't sleep." He says, looking back to the baseball diamond. "Yeah. Used to play back in the day, high school. Was never any good though." He lied as a sigh escapes his lips. "What are you thinking about?"
"I am fine, I truly am. I.. had a stitch in my side. I'm okay now." Lillie gives a little fib of her own, while her sense catches James in the middle of his own lie! What she felt coming from him, the veil of sadness and regret aside, was not something that someone who 'isn't very good' feels. Someone who 'isn't good' wouldn't devote so much excitement to the dream, or stand there on home plate in the way James had done just now. Oh no. Lillie recognizes longing and wistfulness when she 'feels' it, and she knows immediately that James is downplaying himself.
"Now, don't go saying that… you looked transported." Lillie blinks, pauses; her flush cannot be easily seen. "I wasn't watching, I swear. But I saw you before you saw me." The Irish girl smiles, joining James in observing the baseball diamond. "Please don't tell me the feeling of 'not being good enough' was what stopped you. You've the look of someone who would do well in such a sport." The Empath hazards a guess, trying to draw the young man out a bit more. But not without giving a bit in return.
"I have a few things on my plate… I wish to secure a place to live, to call my own. Add on a couple of personal things, missing family, thinking about going-ons in the town…" Lillie shrugs lithe shoulders. "Classic case of overactive mind, y'see. I'll be a sight tomorrow at the diner."
Was he so transparent? James looks confused for a second as the empath seems to see right past him. "Well, yeah so I played a lot in high school." He says, answering more truthfully this time. "We did well, but it ultimately didn't go anywhere." He says, brushing off the anger and frustration of being sick. "Good at the game, but not good enough to go any further. It's ok." He sighs. "It's just a dream. Everybody has them, everybody gets disappointed eventually." He says, almost reciting. "Or, so my father said." He takes a seat on the floor next to the swing and raises his eyes to meet the empath's, sitting on the swing. "You want a place for yourself?" He asks, grateful that the conversation was moving away from his present situation, at least for the moment. "A place to live, you mean ownin' a house?" He asks, "You lookin' to stay here, or move away?" He decides to not touch the other mentioned topics, at least not yet.
A burst of anger, then; not Lillie's. It washes over her skin, literally making her hot under the collar. The sense, being what it is tonight, is strong enough to imbue Lillie with the emotions that she is picking up and to — unfortunately — reflect them physically. Sometimes this can be as awkward as one can imagine… cough. But here, on a swing as late evening creeps in around them, Lillie is 'experiencing' James. That aforementioned rush of frustration and, yes, anger; Lillie's color runs high when /she/ gets angry, so naturally this is how she responds when sampling James' upset. Her brow furrows again as she realizes when she is doing, and she makes sure to keep her voice measured and calm.
Did her stomach just drop into her knees, at the words 'disappointed' and 'father'? God above, Lillie wishes she could just outright /say/ what she is picking up on, but… yeah. Emotions are private things and James is clearly trying to keep mum on something. The Empath knows, then and there, that this is a heavier situation. Her soft gaze meets James as he looks up at her, and she smiles despite the brief anger response still setting her heart to galloping. "Well.. for what it's worth… if you're of a mind to stay, maybe the town spruces this place up in the summertime and games are held. I don't want to downplay what you just told me, but.. you just really seem to still love the game, I guess. Maybe I'm overstepping."
Okay, time to pull it in a bit. Leave James with that to chew on.. there's a fine line before she begins getting freaky with the sense. Lillie glances skyward, kicking one boot and sending herself to swinging gently. "I wish to stay. I feel that I truly must stay, but I want to call a place my own. I rent a room, currently… but it's not the same. I want to find a house and make it my own, even if it's… in need of much attention."
"I would like a friendly game with friends. That would be fun." James says to the now red Lillie, giving her a genuine smile. The idea of playing again, even if it's casually, makes him happier. "I can understand wanting a place that you own. It's grounding, safe." He offers her another smile. "You'll get there, I think. Work hard enough at something and it's bound to come to you." He quirks his head to the side as she appears to have become very red in the face. "Are you alright?" He asks her again, now slightly worried. "Look like maybe you're getting a fever? Do you need help home?"
Ah.. there it is. Relief. The suggestion hit a good chord and suddenly Lillie hopes — /prays/ — that Higsi does something with this little park once the winter chill wanes away into the warmth of spring and summer. Maybe there is someone in town whose ear she can put a bug into, in regards to revitalizing the baseball diamond. Would that mean James intends to stay in Higsi? Lillie chooses not to ask, just yet; she already asked too much. But the happiness that he feels at the prospect of playing a game casually, it's like a balm… the Empath can feel her own body relaxing. But still she wonders, in the way that Lillie always does…. /what/ happened? That mixture of emotions, including the veil of unhappiness that follows this young man, hidden behind smiles… how can she ignore that?
It's too soon for her to ask, if it's Lillie's place to do so; however, James seems a likable guy who is also her co-worker. Why wouldn't she want him to catch a break?
"I'm alright. I think the exhaustion is catching up to me, and I'd better get on my way home. Work in the morning.. early, too. I think I'm some kind of crazy to be outside at this hour, but I sure do thank you for the company and making it worthwhile. Thanks for the reassuring words.. if my plan is meant to be, I'll make it work." Lillie smiles, dragging a foot to stop the swing and gracefully stepping off. "Walk safe, James, in getting to where you need to go. I'll have the coffee on early tomorrow… /very/ early.. if you're in the trenches with me." She offers mirthfully, though her heart still hurts for him and his lost dreams of professional baseball.